Adoption is a life changing experience that can positively impact the lives of everyone involved. However, everyone’s adoption process is different. Here are five things not commonly shared about adoption. 

You may fall in love instantly, but the child may not. 

Everyone dreams of love at first sight. While you may instantly love your adoptive child, they may not reciprocate those feelings immediately. Remember, this child will have mixed emotions about their new home and it may take a while for them to process their feelings. With time and patience, your child may learn to love their new surroundings and family. 

The child may want to seek their birth family.

As the child ages, there is a possibility that they will want to seek their birth family.  This is a natural feeling and one that you should prepare yourself for. Consider your feelings around your child engaging with their birth family and what that process would look like. 

Don’t expect a “thank you.” 

While your decision to adopt is undoubtedly commendable, you may not receive a verbal “thank you” from your adopted child. Remember that your child is a victim of circumstance. They did not ask for the life they lived before being placed in your home. Being patient and providing the love and safety they deserve will give them a feeling of gratitude, even if not outwardly expressed. 

You may question yourself.

There will be times during the adoption process when you ask yourself, “Am I making the right decision? Will the child adapt well? Will my family be open to receiving a new child?” There will be times when you will question your decision. Your adoption caseworker will be able to help you navigate your feelings. Ultimately, if you have love in your heart and a safe home environment, you are saving a child’s life. 

Build your support network.

It truly takes a village to raise a child, and an adoptive child is no different. It will be vital for you to have a strong support system to help you through this process. Your case manager, family, friends, and fellow adoptive parents will be great resources for emotional support and valuable information to help you through the process. 

To speak with an adoption specialist, please contact (313) 531-6190 or CLICK HERE for more information.

The holidays can be a stressful time for anyone, especially for foster children who are adjusting to a new home. Read below for ways to decrease the stress around transitioning into a new home during the holidays. 

Ask about their traditions. 

Sit down with your child and inquire about their favorite holiday traditions of their family or past foster families. Consider incorporating some or all of their traditions into your seasonal festivities. This is a great way to provide a sense of normalcy during their holiday season. 

Be transparent about upcoming events. 

Transparency is a great way to prepare your child for the holiday season. Discuss the events, traditions, and ceremonies you plan to attend. Give them insight into what each obligation entails and who will be attending.

Be patient. 

While the holiday season is filled with cheer and joy for most, it may be an emotionally difficult time for your child. Remain patient and keep an open dialogue with what you can do to ease any pain associated with the holidays. 

Prepare your family. 

Have a discussion with your family, both immediate and extended, about your foster child. Be open about any potential triggers your child may have and prepare your family for any behavioral tendencies your child may express. 

Get them involved.

Create fun memories and get your child involved in your holiday preparations! Consider fun holiday activities like decorating, baking and games and give your child some accountability in creating the holiday atmosphere. 

Incorporate their biological family. 

If your child would like to spend time with their biological family during the holiday (if appropriate) consider speaking with your caseworker about arranging a time with their family.

The holidays are a great time for creating new memories filled with love! CLICK HERE for more information about foster care and adoption.

January is National Mentoring Month! Becoming a mentor at MCHS is just one of the many ways you can have a direct impact on our youth and community. Continue reading to learn the benefits of mentoring our youth.

It makes a child’s life better.

Studies show children need three positive role models in their lives to be successful. Our boys often need an extra source of support to get through their tough days and as they navigate obstacles in their young lives. By becoming a mentor, you will be matched with one of our children in our residential program. As a mentor, you will have the opportunity to bond with your mentee through campus activities and scheduled one-on-one time. Spending time with your mentee may bring them a moment of peace and normalcy amid their circumstances. 

It makes the community better.

Investing in our children is an investment in the future. Coretta Scott King once said, “The greatness of a community is most accurately measured by the compassionate actions of its members.” Mentoring a child at MCHS has a positive impact not just on a child and yourself, but also on your community. Our children have experienced trauma and neglect and need plenty of support and love. Providing our youth with a mentor allows them to develop relationships that will expose them to new lifestyles, ideas and experiences.

It makes your life better.

Our children aren’t the only ones that benefit from our mentor program. Mentors are also positively impacted by their new friendship. During the commitment, mentors and mentees develop strong relationships and mentors often become a support system for our kids. Cindy Cohen became a mentor in 2019 after learning about MCHS during a news segment. Cindy comes from an education background and wanted to invest her time in nurturing children. When asked about her experience as a mentor, she replied, “This gives me an opportunity to attend to every aspect of their needs; their hearts, their education, future and goal planning. Just being someone that can help them achieve their goals.” Cindy has been greatly impacted by the relationship her and her mentee have developed and plans to continue mentoring in 2020. 

If you’re interested in learning more about our mentor program, consider attending our upcoming information session on March 12th at 5:30 p.m. on our Redford campus in the administration building.

Our 3rd Annual Hearts & Heroes Gala was one to remember! More than 400 guests came together to root for the future of MCHS and the children and families we serve. Together, we raised a record-breaking amount of funds to support our mission and exciting new ventures. Thanks to our generous sponsors and donors, guests enjoyed the night with beautiful views right on the Detroit River, silent auction and raffles just before hearing first-hand the stories of triumph and success by five amazing individuals who have been changed forever through MCHS. For the first time in MCHS history, attendees enthusiastically participated in a live auction for luxurious prizes and excursions. Guests were inspired throughout the evening and left with the honor of sponsoring students in the inaugural class of our 2020 charter school! Major thank you to all of our volunteers and staff who helped coordinate this successful event! We look forward to next year! 

Since the founding of MCHS in 1917, women have been at the forefront of our history. MCHS was founded by two extraordinary women and over the next 103 years, women have helped carry out their vision and mission.

Methodist Children’s Home Society was founded in 1917 when Detroit factories were busy producing material for the conflict in Europe. Many families moved into the metropolitan area from all over the country, leaving behind their extended families. When a disastrous influenza epidemic hit the city, children whose parents died were often left without friends or relatives to care for them. Many children were discovered by members of the Order of Deaconesses of the Methodist Church when making their rounds in the residential sections of Detroit’s industrial areas.

Anna Kresge, wife of Sebastian Kresge of the S.S. Kresge stores, was concerned for the growing number of displaced children. Together, with Sophie Sprague, Superintendent of the Deaconess Home, and members of the Women’s Home Missionary Society, Mrs. Kresge persuaded Presiding Bishop Theodore Henderson of the need for a haven for children without families and children receiving inadequate care in their own homes.

Mrs. Kresge and Mrs. Sprague purchased a small house in Highland Park and arranged care for ten children. In 1922, a larger home was built on a farm in what is now downtown Farmington. In 1922, Frances Knight was appointed director and the agency became a charter member of the Child Welfare League of America.

Ms. Knight envisioned a community designed to meet the social, emotional, academic, physical and spiritual needs of children. The basic concept of the director’s plan called for small cottages, each housing seven boys and girls ages 4-12, living with house mothers and fathers in a family setting. In 1927, Mr. Kresge authorized a substantial grant from the newly established Kresge Foundation for the purchase of twenty-eight acres of land and the construction of the first buildings that would comprise Methodist Children’s Home Society’s “Children’s Village” in Redford.

Behind the scenes, house mothers provided care and nurturing to the children living on campus. They played a vital role in caring for children and creating an environment of love, compassion and hope. House mothers looked after the children as a parent would, completing homework and teaching them the skills needed to be successful in the world.

It was the progressive initiatives of Anna Kresge, Sophie Sprague and Frances Knight that laid the strong foundation of Methodist Children’s Home Society. Their will to lead an organization during a time when women were fighting for suffrage is inspiring, proving that women can thrive through adversity. Today, MCHS continues to have a strong presence of women in leadership and throughout its staff.

Our 2020 Annual Dinner was a night full of spirit as we cheered on the many volunteers, donors, staff and foster parents that make our mission possible! More than three hundred guests arrived at The Henry-Autograph Collection where they enjoyed dinner, entertainment from Kym Brady “The Urban Violinist,” and an impactful program highlighting the winners of our 2020 Mission Possible Awards: Frank DeNardo and Wendy Robinson of the Lisa DeNardo-Pete Polk Memorial Foundation, foster parents Catherine and Jay Siegler, volunteer Tracy Malloy, and MCHS team leader Joseph Cunningham. Guests left the event feeling pumped about our mission and the upcoming groundbreaking of the Fostering Leadership Academy, the first true trauma-informed charter school in the state of Michigan, which will be located on the MCHS campus.

Click here to view photos from our 2020 Annual Dinner!

Blog: What To Expect At Annual Dinner

Our Annual Dinner is the perfect event to kick off your spring season! This year, we’ll be cheering on our home team to celebrate the upcoming ground-breaking of the Fostering Leadership Academy, the first trauma-informed charter school in the state of Michigan. The purpose of this event is to thank our generous supporters, announce our 2020 Mission Possible winners and celebrate the exciting year to come. 

Doors will open at 5:30 p.m. for guests who wish to partake in cocktail hour. Guests will be able to enjoy our silent auction and 50/50 raffle, browse original art by our children, shop MCHS merchandise and mingle with fellow MCHS supporters! Money raised from our auction and raffle will go towards our fund to provide school supplies and uniforms for students of Fostering Leadership Academy. Our program will begin at 7 p.m. and will include inspirational messages, video tributes and highlights of our Mission Possible awardees. 

You don’t want to miss this event! CLICK HERE to purchase your ticket! If you have questions, contact Development Officer Rachel Evans at (313) 683-9587 or revans@mchsmi.org.

CLICK HERE to view photos from our 2019 Annual Dinner. 

In a matter of weeks, life as we know it has turned upside down. The COVID-19 global pandemic has spread like wildfire and in turn, quickly upended our daily routines. We’re sheltering in place, schools are closed, grocery stores are bare and streets are empty. At MCHS, now more than ever, our work is essential. Deemed an essential organization by the state of Michigan, the ongoing direct care, health and safety we provide to nearly 60 boys on campus continues to be our number one focus. And while many MCHS staff are fortunate to work from home remotely, our youth specialists and direct care staff continue to commute to work, day in and day, out because we are essential. 

MCHS staff are essential in providing love and restoring the hope to nearly 60 boys in our residential program, ages 5 to 18 — all of whom are in foster care as a direct result of the severe neglect and abuse they’ve survived. For our children, life has consistently been inconsistent. For them, MCHS became their rock, offering stability and comfort in knowing that they are safe, cared for and protected by our dedicated staff. We are essential. 

Information about the outbreak changes rapidly, day-by-day. As an organization, we recognized our responsibility to launch an emergency plan, protecting not only our youth but our employees as well. For the dedication and undying care our team members give to our youth, we recognized that as an organization, they deserved a comprehensive plan to protect and support them through this unprecedented time. When we put our staff first, they can put our children and foster families first. They are essential. 

We took the following necessary measures to reassure our direct care staff of their value to our MCHS. To support our staff through this pandemic, we:

• Provide bonus pay (time and a half) to our essential team members on our residential staff. 
• Provide and enforce daily health screenings for employees that are required to work on campus.
• Provide all non-residential employees with the tools needed to work from the safety of their homes. 
• Created our Employee Emergency Assistance Fund for any team member who may need financial assistance due to COVID-19 medical reasons. 

Our staff is essential to the mission and livelihood of MCHS. Because of their hard work and dedication, we continue to lead child welfare in Michigan as the premier residential agency. We lead by serving those who serve. We are essential.

As the country and our state adjust to the new normal during the COVID-19 outbreak, our children are also adjusting to multiple stressors. The pandemic has undoubtedly created anxiety, changed the way we work and educate our children, all while practicing social isolation. There are no sporting events to attend, no playdates with friends and grandparents are off limits to protect their health. While children may not fully understand the impact of the outbreak, they certainly feel the physical, emotional and mental shifts we have made to ensure health and safety. Here are a few ways to speak to your children about what’s going on.

Stay Calm

The main role a parent or caregiver can play is in staying calm and offering reassurance. Children respond to not only what you say but more importantly, what you do. Make time to talk with a child on their level. Make sure the information is appropriate to their developmental level and easy to digest. Information at a level beyond what the child can understand will add to the anxiety. Be sure to answer a child’s questions to the best of your ability, remaining positive and upbeat. 

Limit Their Exposure

Limit the amount of information regarding COVID-19 a child is exposed to. It’s important to explain to children that some information may be based on rumors, not on facts. Reaffirm that you are available to be their main source of information and are available to talk through what’s going on. Turn the television off can be a good starting point. 

Practice Good Habits 

Help a child feel in control and  provide examples of things they can do to limit their exposure and stay healthy. This includes how to wash their hands regularly with soap and water. Pick a favorite song that lasts 20 seconds and sing together while washing. Also, teach a child how to sneeze or cough into a tissue or the elbow of their sleeve instead of their hands or the air. Let a child assist with cleaning toys, game controllers and door handles with wipes that remove bacteria. Finally, remind children to keep their hands away from their mouths and face. By following simple health precautions paired with social distancing, a child will be helping in the most effective way to limit exposure to COVID-19. 

Ask Questions 

For older children, asking questions is the best conversation starter. Find out what they already know about COVID-19 and help them separate the facts from rumors. Teenagers tend to worry more about their friends, older relatives and their safety. Make sure they have ample time to interact with older relatives and grandparents whether through telephone calls or video options like Facetime or Zoom.   

Monitor Their Health

As a parent or caregiver, you should continually check for signs of illness. Just because someone may get sick, it does not mean that they have COVID-19. Let children know that you will make sure to get them the care that they need, regardless of what illness they have. Call your healthcare provider and follow the instructions they provide should any family member present symptoms. 

Overall, as a parent or caregiver, your most important role is to remain calm and reassuring, the rock that a child needs to depend on. Address questions and fears honestly while staying positive. Try to keep the information simple and clear and remind children that medical authorities are doing their best to keep everyone safe. 

May is National Foster Care Awareness Month! Yesterday, MCHS  CEO Kevin Roach along with Director of Licensing Danielle Stevens and Director of Child Welfare went live on Facebook to answer your questions about Foster Care! In case you missed it, read our blog recapping the great information they provided! 

Is it still possible to become a licensed Foster Parent during the COVID-19 pandemic?

YES! We have transitioned our licensing on-boarding process to be administered virtually. We are still hosting foster care orientations via video conferencing and working with those interested in fostering to complete their application process. 

What does it take to become a foster parent?

A family should have a loving and open heart! Familles should be willing to learn how to best provide for the needs of children coming into care. Once a family has become licensed, they must have the proper provisions in place in order to care for their foster child including clothing, proper transportation equipment and adequate living space.  

What are the first steps I should take if I’m interested in becoming a foster parent?

The first step is to do your research and decide which agency you would like to work with. Consider the location of the agency and the support they provide to their foster families. You can call MCHS to inquire about our process and register to attend an orientation session. Our foster care orientations are strictly information sessions for interested families to ask questions and learn more about MCHS and the foster care process. There is no commitment when attending an orientation. After orientation, if you are still interested in fostering, you will pair with  a licensing specialist who helps you through the application and home-assessment process. 

Who can be a foster parent? 

At MCHS, we service families from all backgrounds! MCHS does not discriminate against interested foster parents based on age, socio-economic class, race, religion, marital status, sexual orientation or occupation. We only require that interested foster parents be at least 18 years old and that parents take a physical exam to show that you can care for a child. 

What if I’m interested in fostering, but my spouse is not?

We encourage couples who are interested to be in agreement before fostering. If you are interested in fostering, but your spouse is hesitant, we are willing to have a conversation with you to answer any questions you both may have and to remove any barriers that may be stopping you from fostering. If you have existing children in the home that express any conflict with potential foster children, we are also willing to meet with them to ease any anxiety they may have about foster care. 

Are there costs associated with becoming a foster parent?

There are no costs associated with becoming a foster parent! It is free to open your home and heart to a child today. When you do become licensed, the state of Michigan does provide a daily rate of care to provide for the foster child. For children ages 0-12, families receive $17.24 per day per child, and children 13 and older receive $20.59 per day per child. 

How does MCHS support it’s Foster Families?

MCHS takes pride in supporting our foster parents through their application process and beyond! We offer many opportunities for training and support to our foster families including gifts, trunk-or-treat, holiday celebrations and more. Since the COVID-19 pandemic, we have begun to offer our training and support groups virtually to remain connected to our foster families. 

If you’re interested in taking the first steps towards becoming a foster parent, or if you have any questions, contact our Child Welfare team at (313) 531-6190. Remember, there is no wrong question! 

If you would like to watch the Foster Care Live Q&A session, CLICK HERE